Wednesday, August 21, 2013
NICU
I already know this post will be a jumble of words and sentences and thoughts. Because even thinking back to the 10 days we watched our sweet Noelle spend in NICU is still a blur.
Maybe it was ignorant, but I really didn't think either of the twins would have NICU time. I made it to 37 weeks, and our perinatologist watched their growth weekly. They were both estimated to be around 5 pounds and were active and were on track for a healthy delivery via c-section.
When Noelle was born, she was a dusty rose color. A little bluish, and although she cried it was muted. They didn't bring her over to me when she was born, and thinking back, I get so upset. They lifted Keegan up and he was screaming and 2 minutes later when Noelle was born, they brought her straight over to the incubator and started working on her. I remember just laying there. Justin went over to be with the babies as soon as they were born, as I had instructed him to do no matter what! I wanted him with them. I was fine. I didn't feel one single pinch or pull during my c-section. I remember hearing the two doctors talking about their latest vacations as they stitched me up, and in the background I heard them say 'NICU' and I knew they meant Noelle. Eventually a nurse came over to me and said they were taking Noelle upstairs and Justin was going with her. They let me see her for just a moment. When they left, I laid on the table by myself and no one was talking to me. I sort of feel like crying just writing that sentence. I wasn't worried about Noelle, actually. I knew she was in the very best care. I just felt lonely for a minute. It probably was the drugs, too.
I was taken to the recovery room and reuinted with Keegan almost immediately. We were able to bond, nurse, and introduce him to our family. But for most of the time I was in recovery (almost 6 hours because of my bleeding), Justin was upstairs with Noelle and my family circled between visiting me and her. I still hadn't seen her.
After 6 pm I was discharged from recovery, and able to move upstairs to my post partum room, but they let me go to NICU first to see Noelle. They wheeled me there on my hospital bed, right into her room, right up to the sweet glass container. It wasn't covered, so I was able to touch her, but she was completely wired. And on CPAP, which is the most terrifying thing I have ever seen. I don't remember if I cried at that first visit. There were so many tears over the next few days, I as in such a haze. She was breathing fast, and they believed she had fluid in her lungs. The nurses assured me she was really doing OK, and that they hoped to lower her CPAP by the next morning. I went back to my postpartum room and had to be a mommy to Keegan and love on him and show him off, while my sweet girl was not with us. My family was amazing - they all took turns between visiting me and Keegan in our room, or heading upstairs to see Noelle. I never felt like she was alone, which was a huge relief.
My c-section recovery went smoothly, although it was still major surgery. I had to wait until my catheter was taken out the next day to then be able to shower and visit Noelle again. I wanted to walk right away. Justin made me ride halfway there in the wheelchair. This time I cried. Noelle was not on a lower CPAP, but they actually had to turn the oxygen up and she was wired even more than the night before. Justin tried to prepare me before I got there, but you just can never be prepared for a feeling like that.
Over the next 4 days in the hospital I spent my days nursing Keegan, pumping to bring milk to Noelle in NICU, spending time with family, and recovering from my surgery. I felt so, so proud everytime I would fill a tiny vile up to bring to Noelle. It was the only thing I could do for her, and it made me happy to be able to provide almost all of her nourishment while she was in NICU. Keegan was so, so tiny and we didn't want him to lose weight so while we were in the hospital I nursed him for 15 minutes, and then gave him either expressed milk or neosure to supplement him before he got too tired.
I remember just going and going. You don't even think about being tired. I wanted Noelle out of NICU so bad.
Then one morning we went upstairs and the doctor told us they heard a heart murmur and needed to run some additional tests. To me it was devastating news - and a set back I knew would add time to her stay. Luckily the heart murmur closed on its own within 24 hours, she was taken off CPAP and put on room air, but she was still being fed through a tube and get spitting up most of her meals.
Once she was in the clear medically (her lungs were OK and her heart murmur closed), the only thing that stood between us getting her home was for her to learn to take her feeds. She was moved from NICU to 'Special Care' nursery. I remember being SO excited. I was discharged from the hospital on Tuesday evening, and Tuesday night she moved into her private suite at Special Care.
She spent 5 days in Special Care Nursery. They wouldn't let her leave until she finished 16 feedings in a row of 40 ml. We actually had to break her out of there and convince a doctor to let us bring her home before she finished all 16 feedings. Keegan was at home eating 30/35/25/40... always something different. We wanted our girl home with us and knew she was doing amazing.
Our NICU journey (5 days) was amazing. Our nurses were terrific, doctors were very informative, and the NICU at Texas Presby is phenomenal. Our Special Care journey (5 days) was exhausting, frustrating, and overwhelming. The nurses were.. Ok... and I never felt like anyone would give me any information other than 'she needs to eat better.'
We survived 10 days at the hospital, and brought Noelley Bell home to meet her brother. They were reunited for the first time 10 days after they were born, and locked arms immediately. I love the pictures we took of them that very first day home.
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Maybe it was ignorant, but I really didn't think either of the twins would have NICU time. I made it to 37 weeks, and our perinatologist watched their growth weekly. They were both estimated to be around 5 pounds and were active and were on track for a healthy delivery via c-section.
When Noelle was born, she was a dusty rose color. A little bluish, and although she cried it was muted. They didn't bring her over to me when she was born, and thinking back, I get so upset. They lifted Keegan up and he was screaming and 2 minutes later when Noelle was born, they brought her straight over to the incubator and started working on her. I remember just laying there. Justin went over to be with the babies as soon as they were born, as I had instructed him to do no matter what! I wanted him with them. I was fine. I didn't feel one single pinch or pull during my c-section. I remember hearing the two doctors talking about their latest vacations as they stitched me up, and in the background I heard them say 'NICU' and I knew they meant Noelle. Eventually a nurse came over to me and said they were taking Noelle upstairs and Justin was going with her. They let me see her for just a moment. When they left, I laid on the table by myself and no one was talking to me. I sort of feel like crying just writing that sentence. I wasn't worried about Noelle, actually. I knew she was in the very best care. I just felt lonely for a minute. It probably was the drugs, too.
I was taken to the recovery room and reuinted with Keegan almost immediately. We were able to bond, nurse, and introduce him to our family. But for most of the time I was in recovery (almost 6 hours because of my bleeding), Justin was upstairs with Noelle and my family circled between visiting me and her. I still hadn't seen her.
After 6 pm I was discharged from recovery, and able to move upstairs to my post partum room, but they let me go to NICU first to see Noelle. They wheeled me there on my hospital bed, right into her room, right up to the sweet glass container. It wasn't covered, so I was able to touch her, but she was completely wired. And on CPAP, which is the most terrifying thing I have ever seen. I don't remember if I cried at that first visit. There were so many tears over the next few days, I as in such a haze. She was breathing fast, and they believed she had fluid in her lungs. The nurses assured me she was really doing OK, and that they hoped to lower her CPAP by the next morning. I went back to my postpartum room and had to be a mommy to Keegan and love on him and show him off, while my sweet girl was not with us. My family was amazing - they all took turns between visiting me and Keegan in our room, or heading upstairs to see Noelle. I never felt like she was alone, which was a huge relief.
My c-section recovery went smoothly, although it was still major surgery. I had to wait until my catheter was taken out the next day to then be able to shower and visit Noelle again. I wanted to walk right away. Justin made me ride halfway there in the wheelchair. This time I cried. Noelle was not on a lower CPAP, but they actually had to turn the oxygen up and she was wired even more than the night before. Justin tried to prepare me before I got there, but you just can never be prepared for a feeling like that.
 |
| Truly meeting Noelle for the first time |
Over the next 4 days in the hospital I spent my days nursing Keegan, pumping to bring milk to Noelle in NICU, spending time with family, and recovering from my surgery. I felt so, so proud everytime I would fill a tiny vile up to bring to Noelle. It was the only thing I could do for her, and it made me happy to be able to provide almost all of her nourishment while she was in NICU. Keegan was so, so tiny and we didn't want him to lose weight so while we were in the hospital I nursed him for 15 minutes, and then gave him either expressed milk or neosure to supplement him before he got too tired.
I remember just going and going. You don't even think about being tired. I wanted Noelle out of NICU so bad.
Then one morning we went upstairs and the doctor told us they heard a heart murmur and needed to run some additional tests. To me it was devastating news - and a set back I knew would add time to her stay. Luckily the heart murmur closed on its own within 24 hours, she was taken off CPAP and put on room air, but she was still being fed through a tube and get spitting up most of her meals.
Once she was in the clear medically (her lungs were OK and her heart murmur closed), the only thing that stood between us getting her home was for her to learn to take her feeds. She was moved from NICU to 'Special Care' nursery. I remember being SO excited. I was discharged from the hospital on Tuesday evening, and Tuesday night she moved into her private suite at Special Care.
She spent 5 days in Special Care Nursery. They wouldn't let her leave until she finished 16 feedings in a row of 40 ml. We actually had to break her out of there and convince a doctor to let us bring her home before she finished all 16 feedings. Keegan was at home eating 30/35/25/40... always something different. We wanted our girl home with us and knew she was doing amazing.
Our NICU journey (5 days) was amazing. Our nurses were terrific, doctors were very informative, and the NICU at Texas Presby is phenomenal. Our Special Care journey (5 days) was exhausting, frustrating, and overwhelming. The nurses were.. Ok... and I never felt like anyone would give me any information other than 'she needs to eat better.'
We survived 10 days at the hospital, and brought Noelley Bell home to meet her brother. They were reunited for the first time 10 days after they were born, and locked arms immediately. I love the pictures we took of them that very first day home.
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Four months of crazy awesomeness
Well, some how my sweet babies are 4 months old. I don't even know how that happened. Time just flies. I find myself daydreaming about their birth a lot. I wish I could press rewind and live it all over again. But on the other hand, they are at such an awesome stage, and I don't want to go backwards. It's hard to explain, and emotional. Emotional... that's the best way to describe things lately.
My 4-month long breastfeeding journey came to an unplanned early end, and I wasn't ready. I have to begin a powerful medicine and I just can't risk passing it through my milk to Keegs and Noelle. I stalled as long as possible, but I knew it was probably going to happen this way. I loved every single time I got to nurse the babes, and I even loved pumping. Those 15 minute sessions were a chance to sit back, breathe, and return to the babies feeling refreshed. While I wish I could have done it longer, I am happy I was able to give them antibodies and nourishment for as long as I could. I'm emotional about it though. Sitting here right now I wish I could do something about it, but I know that I can't.
The past few months have been a whirlwind. In July we sold a house, bought a new house, packed, and I went back to work. In August we moved, hired a nanny, and began the work-at-home mom routine. It's been hectic, exciting, exhausting and humbling. There are days that I am just so tired. And then there are days that I feel like I totally rock at this whole mom thing. Those are good days.
Keegan and Noelle had their 4 month appointment today, and poor sweet babies had to get 4 shots each. Keegan is 15.8 and Noelle is 13.7. Keegs got the green light to start trying solids, but we will wait a few more weeks to start Noelle. Her reflux/spitting up could get worse if we introduce food too early.
The babies are at such a fun age. They laugh. Out loud. And when they do, they give themselves hiccups. It's so adorable. They also love to hold onto their toys, especially textured things that make noise. Right now their favorite things are Sophie (Noelle) and soft blocks (Keegan and Noelle) and the play mat (Keegan and Noelle). They also love looking at each other, watching Mickey Mouse, swinging, tummy time, eating, and bath time. Noelle does NOT like loud, sudden noises, riding in her carseat, sitting in her carseat during walks, or when mama leaves the room. Keegan does NOT like wet diapers, getting scared, or when mama leaves the room. They are so funny - they totally know when I am in the room or not and they get upset when I leave. I love how much they love me. And I can't get enough of them.
As I'm typing this, their daddy is on the way to pick up mama's new hot stroller - the Baby Jogger City Select! Woo Woo! Buy Buy Baby price matches and the grey color was on salw at Allbeebaby.com. CAN'T WAIT to take the babes for a spin tonight.
My 4-month long breastfeeding journey came to an unplanned early end, and I wasn't ready. I have to begin a powerful medicine and I just can't risk passing it through my milk to Keegs and Noelle. I stalled as long as possible, but I knew it was probably going to happen this way. I loved every single time I got to nurse the babes, and I even loved pumping. Those 15 minute sessions were a chance to sit back, breathe, and return to the babies feeling refreshed. While I wish I could have done it longer, I am happy I was able to give them antibodies and nourishment for as long as I could. I'm emotional about it though. Sitting here right now I wish I could do something about it, but I know that I can't.
The past few months have been a whirlwind. In July we sold a house, bought a new house, packed, and I went back to work. In August we moved, hired a nanny, and began the work-at-home mom routine. It's been hectic, exciting, exhausting and humbling. There are days that I am just so tired. And then there are days that I feel like I totally rock at this whole mom thing. Those are good days.
Keegan and Noelle had their 4 month appointment today, and poor sweet babies had to get 4 shots each. Keegan is 15.8 and Noelle is 13.7. Keegs got the green light to start trying solids, but we will wait a few more weeks to start Noelle. Her reflux/spitting up could get worse if we introduce food too early.
The babies are at such a fun age. They laugh. Out loud. And when they do, they give themselves hiccups. It's so adorable. They also love to hold onto their toys, especially textured things that make noise. Right now their favorite things are Sophie (Noelle) and soft blocks (Keegan and Noelle) and the play mat (Keegan and Noelle). They also love looking at each other, watching Mickey Mouse, swinging, tummy time, eating, and bath time. Noelle does NOT like loud, sudden noises, riding in her carseat, sitting in her carseat during walks, or when mama leaves the room. Keegan does NOT like wet diapers, getting scared, or when mama leaves the room. They are so funny - they totally know when I am in the room or not and they get upset when I leave. I love how much they love me. And I can't get enough of them.
As I'm typing this, their daddy is on the way to pick up mama's new hot stroller - the Baby Jogger City Select! Woo Woo! Buy Buy Baby price matches and the grey color was on salw at Allbeebaby.com. CAN'T WAIT to take the babes for a spin tonight.
Two Month Favorites!
These are the things we LOVE and couldn't live without at two months:
1. Aden + Anais Swaddle Blankets
2. Fisher Price Sea Horses
3. Dr. Browns Bottles
4. Hospital Medela Pump
5. Aveeno Wash + Shampoo
6. Fisher Price Piano
7. Boppys
8. Ju Ju Be BFF Diaper Bag
9. Rock N' Plays (retired them at 7 weeks, but loved every minute of using them!)
10. Old Navy size 0-3 month onesies. Love them! Fit perfectly! They wore newborn clothes until 7 weeks, and these onesies were a great transition until their other clothes started to fit.
At their two month check-up, Keegan weighed 10 lb 13 oz and Noelle weighed 9 lb 10 oz.
Perfect little angels. :)
I've been jotting down things here and there in a notebook about the babies but plan to sit down next week and transfer it all into their baby books! It's just so hard to find the time to sit and write when I should be doing a million other things to catch up! We are putting our house up for sale next week which just makes it all that much more challenging.
Overall, I'm feeling great. Of course there are some overwhelming days, but sleepless nights are quickly forgotten by the next day. Physically I feel good too. Suprisngly I am a couple pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight (although I have QUITE a bit of toning to do.) I haven't started working out yet but hopefully next week when my mom is here helping out I can squeeze in a few workout DVDs. :) I'm eating ice cream as I write this sooo.... I need a bit of help getting started!
The kiddos have a few nicknames but mostly Keegan goes by Keegs or Chunka or Chunka Munk. And Noelle goes by Noell-ey Bell or Missy Moo. They are both developing such strong personalities; its so fun to see the new things they are doing each week. And each week, they reverse the roles of the 'high maintenance' twin. Right now, Noelle is in the lead when it comes to eating and Keegan is in the lead when it comes to sleeping.
I want to sit down and write about our NICU experience with Noelle, and how the first 10 days of the twins life started off. Although it was a tough time, I don't want to forget it.
1. Aden + Anais Swaddle Blankets
2. Fisher Price Sea Horses
3. Dr. Browns Bottles
4. Hospital Medela Pump
5. Aveeno Wash + Shampoo
6. Fisher Price Piano
7. Boppys
8. Ju Ju Be BFF Diaper Bag
9. Rock N' Plays (retired them at 7 weeks, but loved every minute of using them!)
10. Old Navy size 0-3 month onesies. Love them! Fit perfectly! They wore newborn clothes until 7 weeks, and these onesies were a great transition until their other clothes started to fit.
At their two month check-up, Keegan weighed 10 lb 13 oz and Noelle weighed 9 lb 10 oz.
Perfect little angels. :)
I've been jotting down things here and there in a notebook about the babies but plan to sit down next week and transfer it all into their baby books! It's just so hard to find the time to sit and write when I should be doing a million other things to catch up! We are putting our house up for sale next week which just makes it all that much more challenging.
Overall, I'm feeling great. Of course there are some overwhelming days, but sleepless nights are quickly forgotten by the next day. Physically I feel good too. Suprisngly I am a couple pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight (although I have QUITE a bit of toning to do.) I haven't started working out yet but hopefully next week when my mom is here helping out I can squeeze in a few workout DVDs. :) I'm eating ice cream as I write this sooo.... I need a bit of help getting started!
The kiddos have a few nicknames but mostly Keegan goes by Keegs or Chunka or Chunka Munk. And Noelle goes by Noell-ey Bell or Missy Moo. They are both developing such strong personalities; its so fun to see the new things they are doing each week. And each week, they reverse the roles of the 'high maintenance' twin. Right now, Noelle is in the lead when it comes to eating and Keegan is in the lead when it comes to sleeping.
I want to sit down and write about our NICU experience with Noelle, and how the first 10 days of the twins life started off. Although it was a tough time, I don't want to forget it.
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